I’m truly at a loss of words for the admiration I share for this month's Babe On A Mish. To be honest, I haven’t really been the one to say 2020 has been the worst year ever, I’m really not the one posting memes about how 2020 was this or that. Mostly, I feel although this year has been extremely difficult- intellectually and emotionally- I have been through worst. Not in this exact way but I’ve had harder times…
I have to admit, as I round the hump and start looking down the pipe at my 40s come January-(I’ll be 37..) this year if nothing else has really made me face the woman in the mirror. Where does she come from? Why does she speak this way? Feel this way? For the first and only time in my life, I looked inward and around me- specifically in my family tree. I giggled. I cried. I realized that even though I moved a country and an ocean away quite some time ago, from my family, this apple no matter how steep the fall- still remains close to her tree.
That tree as a woman is deeply rooted with my italian grandmother-
who I refer to as, Nana.
Rita Babes. Or as she was born, Vita. Vita Mary Caruso, born in south Brooklyn. Her mother in an attempt to be “more American” changed young Vita’s name to Rita- at the age of 5.
The Matron of all festivities that embodies a family meal. An Italian woman who shows her deepest sincerity and thoughtfulness through meals, and short, straight to the point, hurry along - ‘matter of fact sort of advice’. She recently told me “You think too much; who cares?”. Words that are so simple yet hold so much validity, especially for me. As this pandemic has now stretched almost a complete year, so has the mark on the last time I saw my Nana (and Poppa who is also a Babe On a Mish ). It's hard to not mention my Poppa when I speak of my Nana- a love affair between the two that has lasted 62 years.
With everything else that the world has thrown at us, opened us up too, implored as division amongst us- I turned to my Nana a lot this year.
At the ripe and spry age of 81 this December 29th, I wanted to know what she's seen throughout her life- the changes, and what seems to still remain the same. How she feels. And then I realized.. Through all of our conversations, and short stories, that although I am sentimental to an embarrassment, my drive and determination- to look forward- move on-- was not just not something I thought I had inherited from my mom, but it is infact a generational thing. She had inherited it from her mom.
Rita Babes was a working woman too. A union leader. She is a class act activist who believes that women deserve the same rights as men. “Period”. The ground she stands on has a pile of accolades and achievements. Vice President of the CSEA ( civil service employees of America ) and the only woman in a leadership role, at the time. Rita Babes helped to get bus drivers a raise. She stayed pretty involved working in clerical at the high school my mom went too- which my mom jokes was good for her friends but not her. She then found herself moving to Florida where she became a bank teller, then manager for 16 years, where she retired.
As I continued to hear more about my Nana’s life path I realized the similarity in customer service we both shared, I pointed this out and she laughed then said
“Yes first for young people, then old”.
She has a knack for one liners this lady. Ohhh Customer Service.. A field if you never have had the absolute pleasure of working in- will in a word change you. And not so much for “the worst” but changes how you deal with others in general, in your community, if you will. And I will.
This babe on a mish didn’t stop when she retired 22 years ago. Instead she became a volunteer for 18 hours a week at a school in the Culinary Arts Department where she has touched the lives of countless students and has been for the last 17 yrs. In addition to volunteering at the school my Nana is a volunteer at her church as both a Eucharist Minister and Alter Server, and servers at the society of St. Vincent de Paul to help the less fortunate get back on their feet.
She has also volunteered at the polls and is a proud lifelong voter. She is also a proud recipient of:
2X Outstanding Senior Volunteer of the Year
CARES Outstanding Senior Volunteer
She was a on a mish when she beat Colon Cancer, which for the first time ever I asked her about in this interview.
As the Holiday Season Nears, and every smell, taste, and vision in my head leads me straight to my Nana’s kitchen, the traditions that her and my Poppa have created for our family, I felt this month would be very apropos to feature such a babe.
So how do you sit down with your Nana and interview her? Have you ever? Interviewed someone so close to you? Or have a level of respect & have the humility of asking what you feel like you should already know? Without getting emotional? Nervous even? Remember- I am sentimental to the max. But in true Nana form, someone who knew me and molded me when I was only an announcement, not yet to this world- she soothed me and we laughed. I got to know her a bit better. A lot better actually.
And I’m pretty proud of this piece- because it's a piece of me.
Re-listening and re-reading this interview has brought a sense of calm to my heart and soul. When you go through training as a flight attendant, your trainers ask you “to bring your why”- As in why are you doing this? Why are you becoming a flight attendant? It’s insinuated that you bring a photo- of something or more importantly someone(s) important to you. My family was and still remains at the forefront of my mind. I brought a picture of my Nana and Poppa. They represented my entire family. Living in Hawaii, I have always felt guilty for living so far. And besides trips throughout the year- it was always Christmas that I’ve missed the most. This moment that I shared with my nana was pretty special, and though this year has kept me away- I somehow feel so much closer.
So if there is anything more that I can share with you all- is take the time to interview an elder in your family. Not about anything in particular- use these 10 questions and record the conversation. Make them your Babe On A Mish of the Month.. because if you don’t know your past you can never know your future.
Dedicated to my Nana. Vita aka Rita Babes.